i.
i was born small
isn't that something
isn't that always the way?

ii.
there's ice cream on the sheets
lay my bare mottled skin down
and i'm in candyland
candyland and my rubber band all possible
my wink zings minty
bedazzled right down to my innards

iii.
sure just tell other people you think i'm beautiful
that'll do us just fine

iv.
our stomachs match
hanging sort of low and sort of heavy
bare down hard on me
bare and fat like me
swinging low and heavy over me
you loom silent
kept your hand skittering across my belly all night

what if you had grabbed it and pinched it and smacked it and pushed your face there and made me cry and said horrible things

v.
i want people to be beautiful
yes
but

that never changes

my billsssss
my mortgage-uh
my divorce
my children!
my life
my bad hair days

class markers for millenials

nothin's good er bad
but thinkin makes it so
there's only interesting
and not interesting
and other people will let you know

(i gotta say ur dang writing and dang self got me through a weirdo time in my life so im doing 4 u a thing the only thing i know how 2 do im making u a lil mixtape for better feelings stay strong james i believe in u okay i'll write ur dang wikipedia article myself)

erry sad baby insists on being a rat, a pile of laundry, a robot, a demon
christ, timmy and alexandra
"the children appear to her to be depressive realists, not idealizing, for the most part, their parents' struggles or modes of survival while at the same time feeling protective of them for their ordinariness of their social humiliation"
pierre lauren hideki leelo buzz
hanging out with garbage

andi'mnotsaying
I AM NOT SAYING
anyone has it harder that anyone else
just that this is new
like a NEW new
that feeling crawling up n up n up
til there's only like three heiresses and a movie star
that aren't flinging themselves against each other to hope something will stick

this     is     all     just    fine
the moving the roaring the calling out
but i don't know what's poison anymore