let it form in your mouth--
tongue massaging pressing the back of your front two teeth,
tip of it piqued at the intersection of tooth and gum,
sliding down down down your teeth to the cliff of your open mouth
nose mouth humming nasal nascent "n"
rounding, opening, tongue flapping into the slow smooth "o"
you will need this practice.
it is good to practice this by yourself, perhaps on your way to a first date with a cute kid from okcupid or perhaps as you pick up the phone to call a parent. perhaps as you're riding your bike, hood flapping, on your way to a job or volunteer interview, somewhere where things will be asked of you. certainly on your way to the play party you're nervous and excited about, it would be good to practice. for sure as you are entering a dumpster or banquet or grocery store or place where you will be offered many things. perhaps as you sit and wait for your housemates to assemble for the meeting. definitely as you prepare to sort through old beloved objects or to clean the corners of your room, it would be good to practice this. perhaps also practice before or during any experience of momentum.
press tongue - to teeth - sliding down - nostrils flared - dropping open - rounding hum - smooth finish. repeat. repeat.
you would do well to remember that
this practice will come most in handy in the closest, most intimate situations
(walk-in closets, for instance;
being forced to stand or sit side-by-side, as an example;
sustaining shared ambiguity, most likely;
converging with any of the many or few you love, undoubtedly)
where you can remember that your tongue, your teeth, your vocal cords know already
you know how to do this, you have done it before,
even as your fingers work to tease apart sticky storied strings...
your honesty and the voicing of your hesitation will gain the rounded weight of importance.
in closeness, you will learn to say no,
to hear no.
to practice and trust that others' tongues are practicing too.
that there is space made for the presstongue-toteeth-slidingdown-nostrilsflared-droppingopen-roundinghum- smoothfinish to be heard loud and clear.
this practice
added to your daily ritual--whether brushing teeth or talking to spirit--
this practice fits well with other practices
of re-opening doors, or continuing to listen.
perhaps you could practice opening and closing a door alongside this practice.
it is just an idea.
i say this to remind you that (almost) nothing is irreversible.
another idea is to practice with a friend.
i suggest this to remind you that you can say no and yet not be alone.
another idea is to practice while doing kegels,
(i.e. temporarily stopping your flow of urine.)
i make this recommendation to remind you that the interruption of momentum might ultimately increase your pleasure.
there's a pun to be had here about knowing
and no-ing
and how we are shooting through space and time and opening opening opening ourselves stomping flying screaming and also taking care, stepping lightly, allowing slowness, calming...breathing...standing at the center of a circle we have drawn around ourselves. breaking down walls and stepping back. unleashing dams and drawing boundaries. giving ourselves wholly and reclaiming parts of ourselves a capitalist economy and overmediated world have tried to own. smashing structures that do not serve as we build homes among the chambers and organs and muscles held in by our skins.
you and i are both full of contradictions, and the space between us is brimming;
and the rubbing-together makes sparks;
i would like to point out that as there exist ORDER and CHAOS
and DARK and LIGHT
and GIVE and RECEIVE
and POSITIVE and NEGATIVE
(don't take this two-game too far, we've learned;
the fetishistic production of opposites is deceptively easy)
but if you've borne with me this far, there is also YES and NO
and as a libra, i would like to point that out,
to ask, "how are these things balanced in your days?"
[[we are not sheep we are not wolves in sheeps' clothing
we are not boys in wolves' furs
we are also boys and sheep and wolves all at once--]]
let it form in your mouth
(do you want it in your mouth? do you want me to put it in your mouth?)
press tongue - to teeth - sliding down - nostrils flared - dropping open - rounding hum - smooth finish
(what does it taste like afterwards, what do you taste)
keep practicing
(you deserve it...it's raining again)
