that's all

i washed my scarf
and i washed my sheets
because you're coming over

i am very tired today
because the washing machine
had an unbalanced load
and i had to separate all my clothes
and wait it out
so very very late

have i said all the words
in all the possible combinations yet
because
i feel my desire for this
construction
slipping

errybody on my facebook feed
is feeling real good about themselves today
here's a gold star for having a base level of decency

oh my god
also
how could i forget

in a test situation
write your cheat sheet on your thigh
and pull your skirt up under your desk

you teacher shouldn't be looking anyway

all i know is this
men so desperately want access to feminity

not your friends, not your drag queens or your good men
or your neither-category-no-need-to-tick-boxes besties
no of course not (though good men, be warned)
i'm talkin the weaving bro flailing past you on halloween
your father when he was in college
the road trip companions once they've reached the secluded cottage

they want it so bad

they want it so bad
they get drunk and put on their friends' skirts
at a house party
and somebody calls them a fag
and they play it up real good and pout and simper
everybody laughs like it's fucking funny

i bet they feel dangerous
they want in on the deal
to feel tall and teetering and animal
to present all wispy hair tendrils and then bear their teeth
i bet they'd want to bleed down their legs permanently
til the skin turns red forever

they laugh like it's fucking funny
and it's not and they know it
don't you always want to become what you're scared of?

bless them

the pussycat dolls are important
kylie is important
rihanna is important
kesha is important
beyonce is very important
and britney is still important too
gwen is important
and christina and willow and taylor and ciara and miley and estelle and nelly furtado
important important important

swish swish
our toes are pushing into the floor
and we're windin'/grindin'
and we're not listening

oh i made this!

REMAKING COMMUNAL LIFE, 

REVIVING THE JOY OF LIVING, 

DECOLONIZING THE WORLD

it's a zine. have a look. i made it!
copy print distro freely.
maybe take some to quimby's?
or any/everywhere that needs some decolonizin (um like most places)

let's see, otherwise,
today i dove into a pile of blackberry brush
lopped chopped whacked
scratched fell over jumped up and down.
thick thick foamy stems.
willows lying along the ground like creepers.
wild roses suffocating.
(which is a good general question--how do you tell which ones are thriving and which suffering?
um, invasives? real, xenophobic, historically in/accurate, relative, all of the above?
which are the legacy trees? how do we release them?
how to clear the doug firs, how to thin, how to remove the blackberries
holding the general love of all creatures
sustenance for all
the land
including us)

well, it's a rainy day of the wolf creek queer forestry camp
gray and.
i surprise myself continually with my strength and with my exhaustion, when it's too much and when i can take/do so much more.
i think i can walk for a very long time.
anyway,
people are scattered in little crews, clearing out around big trees in the beltane meadow, growing the meadow. the meadows here have shrunk even in the past few years, have missed the burning that used to be their tending. other folks working on blackberries by the garden house, others tending the hearth and recovering from poison oak, others felling trees and wielding chainsaws and gathering firewood.

it was a quick jump back into this world from being up at goatland this past week. slow, timeful-timeless days that flew by--i remembered the good of having one thing to do in a day, like fixing the waterline or playing with baby goats or a tattoo. reading a book. things feel good as day-long projects. and it's good, maybe lots of things like this in my life, that fixing the waterline means drinking a glass of water. fixing the chicken coop means roosters from the neighbor and then chicken for dinner. building a cold frame means planting seeds means greens for breakfast in a few weeks. making saurkraut today means eating it in a little while. the milk crate in the creek means keeping food colder longer, milk that lasts an extra day for coffee. when i dig that big hole i can poop in it.
i like this, this immediacy that's also learning and figuring out and trying and getting frustrated and playing and singing songs and hiking in the woods, using power tools, work drag, work that's for me.

what's the news?
two of our roosters escaped, gone feral, may be recovered.
the spirit is strong and it's all happening and it's just starting too and maybe everything in the world will collapse before i'm real comfortable with a chainsaw and we're off the grid or maybe not, right?