lovin my blood

i want to shout it from the rooftops! today, as expected, i started bleeding (in prep for the new moon tomorrow...it's already been a cycle of the moon since rosh hashanah on 3rd beach in lapush with stam bex and elz), a few days after having used fertility awareness method (FAM) as birth control. i wasn't unprotected, i was protected by my own knowledge of my own body! fuck yeah!

also, if anyone wants a kombucha mother-- we have some pretty little babies ready to leave.

also, happy birthday to justin, our little boogerbutt:

i have a fever in my skin

a festering sore on my chest

a hole in my heart, it hurts

even the sky is bored

but dammit

i will run in this rain

and i will remember that we are just some moody monsters

with sudden aches and groans

scowls and caprice

who push and pull and forget what we want but know we want it bad

until we can feel silly about our sickness

let go our fists

look at our half-comprised lives

and know we love them

here we are

what labor we committed to in order to find each other

what searches for wheres and whens,

what riddles of this corner or the next,

this stranger's bed or that.

how we got to know one another through the voices of others

and the conversations with chance that assured us of our path.

how we danced around one another,

our lines grazing and flirting,

so close to touching but no not yet,

memorizing shared places and things,

learning of the other only through footsteps and echoes.

the way we patiently prepared to lock eyes one mere day and know

that we'd been here before

and it has the warm smell of home