aside, besides: Brian Holmes—3 Crises

http://brianholmes.wordpress.com/2011/09/20/first-meeting-three-crises/#more-2634

Even if you're not in Chicago this Autumn, the recordings and reading material are available at Continental Drift and Mess Hall's website.

taking the 'l' out of 'play time'

If you ever paid a visit to my old flat, you know it was worth the "trouble" i'm in. Exit strategies, anyone?

he sails me like an ocean,
he tempers every storm i throw his way.

i paint him like a wild cat,
he makes loves to me like one.

and just when he thinks he's reached the lost edge
and the wilderness is too much to hold
i'm his mermaid, his holy grail,
the land still lusty and gold.

Bhakti Yoga

I am so fascinated by partnership, this beautiful and complicated way of ultimate compassion and concern, of love, of surrendering part of your freedom towards someone else's joy

I am so fascinated watching all these partnerships form, thrive, be parasitical, dissolve, and shine, and beckon... they move around me and even (transitionally) through me

I said, listen, my joy is to be an independent warrior. Hands in pockets filled with alchemical chocolate and lavender oil, sprinkling magic upon the angels in my path, my toe-shoes gripping along the playa floor (a compressed globe) as I follow always only (only?) mostly always my OWN bliss, nurturing myself, my needs, my craft. I said, listen, I have to draw boundaries, I have to say no to the vampires.

He said, but what about vulnerability? Are you nurturing your softness? Your surrender?

"Aaaaah (soft eyes, exhale, sweet darkness, longing)"

I thought, how can I win?

I thought, I can not win, I can just be.

I can hurt, I can heal, I can cry, I can want, I can thrive.

Yes, but my path right now is to be a warrior. Moon warrior, goddess Athena the wise owl, Durga upon her lion steed. A warrior of my own healing and a leader in the evolution of the species.

(listen, come closer, slowly, fingers touch, let's nurture each other in this dance, let's laugh, just don't fall asleep, don't expect me to fall asleep)

end of summer finally summer's here

calling the slinking sun to come!
come here and bring me flowers!

a tumble of hair
stiffens into curls
under the wind
all kinds of prepositions
to explain why it's like this
dragging a bottle of red
by its neck

the texture is yellow the texture is gold
a mere one and only creature gone spinning
gone speaking
the flowers are told
their color has faded
a tear flecks off into space.

the quicker burst of light

um

can you even DO that--

(yes)
7 minutes left here on the jefferson county compity comp and it's DARK at 8pm these days like i've seen it brighten and darken slowly this summer. last night i watched the moon move, millimeters at a time. i watch plants grow i watch pigs fatten i watch blueberries get bigger and bluer and smaller and purple mummified shrinkly curply fall to the ground. the ducks get their big teeth-oily feathers in and they still aren't sure how to eat a weed. i put the little plantlings, comfrey starts and jerusalem sage and yerba buena, in the ground that i have been cooing over in the greenhouse like a good plantdaddymama for a month plus or so and so...and summer has just begun and perhaps it will frost in the low field on the full moon...!
(almost often someone is somewhere waiting and
i am not sure if i will arrive)
the idea of ideas excites me, the memory of the taste and smell of
theoretically dense tangles of tendrils and
inspirations that turn coffee into mud and
mud into madness and back again.
picking blueberries i swear i have ideas that might shake california loose from the u.s. and by the time i leave the field they're gone, reduced into zucchini relish (which is still good)
i love this life for now
i love much
i forget often
i am curious
i want much
27 seconds--

big changes

holy shit, lots has happened in my life.

adele dumped me for someone else. ouch.

i'm over it. yay!

i'm moving up to the northside - hot damn! high time! should i come out to the west coast? should i tour the us/world with my erstwhile, prodigal baobuddies? yes but no. i still have a life here in chicago (booooo).

az where are you?

anyways, the new andersonville place is going to be beautiful. and life is going to be beautiful. and a LOT less stressful. fondest to all, and if you're in the mood for a housewarming, still live in chicago, or wanna reconnect, well it'll happen soon, i wanna see you, and also i'm going to come out west some time in the next coupla months.

ps post #400 woot!

love

leli

feel me?

like wut am i eeven do-ing? m'scalp ih-ch-ehzzzz. m'ayes r gray-knee, like sand sand and sand. ooooooooooooooooooooooooops. there r may-bee 7 er 8 peeple here so wut can aye say?

there's cheer and then there's cheery and gentlemen in oatmeal colored sweaters, collared dogs in the fountains and dashed, preemptively nostalgic ideas of Europe's platzes, hair up in plaits, not touching the plates, reclaiming the land lost in the refridgerator and doing the herky-jerky in yr bed hoping to maybe sleep thru the night if the heat should let you, living in the infra-black space before you crash into the wall and wut iffen i'm a crawler a night snake a pointy eared pixie not the fairy my mother and daddy hoped for, u kno experimental conditions, the left turn past ultra-violet, ultraviolence, meet me in caracas, i'll put uh rug beneath the sky scrapers and then yank it out from udderneath it and the mushroom clowd that'll follow will be followed by more rug pulling on my behalf and more mushroom clowds and the dust in our throats the kind that gave daddy PTSD and shredded mother's nerves, so mother and daddy were the hobbling kind after that, but like u stole my shampoo and i don't think this movie is that good and she felt uncomfortable at the bar, was it the mixed dancing and i'll leave you alone if you've got a boyfriend and just the usual, you know, and still wishing to pull the rugs from udderneath buildings!

witch iz 2 say, nobuddy sh-ohs uh-puh. we r like rolling r aye-z and nash-in r teef in a em-tee wight rum wit like 6 peeple and like nobuddeez laffing.