Saturday night party cycle

Did I mention there is no more “death for the living” left for you? You’ve gone through your options. Tried on all the nuances of American freedom. So this next bit will be challenging

Real

Life vs. Death

You vs. You

A long time vs. 25 years

Beauty vs. Beauty

Participate vs. Disappear for real

9/11 vs. 1994

Walk vs. run

Lies vs. truth

Water vs. wine

You’ve got to gather all your parts boy

And burn them to create a moment of wholeness

And make a decision while within

What does it feel like this light

Is it worth it

What will I do if

Tomorrow this pile I built

Falls, just falls apart

into ash

Did I mention

There is no death fit for you

One taste and you jumped the gun

Went beyond the one life the you were born to live

Though an agony of time drags you from behind

Often never forward from back

Because you sit outside everything that is not you the basic earth itself and you

you’re caught in a liminal lane between what is and what’s not

between war and war

If you go to that party its for the love of smoking cigarettes

Such company among others gives many a folk enough reason to

why sit in the pee-warm shallows of 2013 looking for marriage and jobs

Smoke because modernity disappoints now on the surface of skin

It used to take longer for our collective lies to percolate

It used to be subtler than happiness

Hate the pigeons and rats for the truth they reflect back

Hate the mirror and the face that lies within

If I go to that party it is because ill come back home trashed

And get to begin the return to integrity

Use the hangover as a useful distance

with what I can again become in just a few short days

of gym time, celibacy, raw vegan food, no sugar, no gluten

A worthy complexion always forms after punishment

A worthy distraction is that which can occupy time
without us needing to

A white man looking in the mirror cannot but hope to always exist 

Guilt and shame are temptation’s toys

If I go to this party it is because I got sick in the museum my mind

Walking its predictable hallways

I lost my voice after calling out what I find

with a dim watt of TV english

From cell to cell         I feel, I think,     this is

ugly, cool, beautiful, wow, interesting, hmm, I think, I hope

What must I announce? And to whom?

Who knows how to listen if none know how to speak

Who knows how to think if none know how to feel

Where does a scream go without any woods to echo through?

What is the point of hunger if there always a plate full of food?

What is a poem without its poet?

How’s a child to grow if there is none to look up to?

What's an adult supposed to know if life is spent looking back?

What got me up here in the first place?

Why can’t I get out?

Where is a window I can lean out of with a rette?

Where’s a good girl’s proper gasp of breath?

Where’s an old fashion romance and grip of breast?

Someone please come knock me down.

Someone come knock me down.

Someone hear me

Someone knock me down

Out of this tower

“you’re missing out on a pretty lovely night”

well that night is here with me too