first post in months!

a good spanish word that nobody uses is "chispiante" which literally means "sparky". i'm not even sure i'm spelling it right anymore.
does nobody use it because it's not even a real word?
me and my chilean friends used it between 10 and 100 times a couple years ago. so it's not completely fabricated like the stuff they have at the macys in the shopping center in pittsburgh.
by which we presume i mean that it has some emotion to it, love even, a meaning deeper than the dollar or literal communication.
chispiante is a clever-sharp combo with a side of new.
prometheus was the only one to do something chispiante, as above and also literally, at the same time. ha.

what can i say? pittsburgh is seeping into my veins like jungle juice at a frat party. i could be soberer (metaphorically), but i'm not doing much about it, although everybody around me is doing their part by either dropping me a ladder or putting some distance between themselves and this trainwreck. or at least that's how it feels.
if i could only relax.
life is a state of mind. i'll be happy when i'm relaxed when i'll be happy. i'll relax when i can relax. being home? not actually helping. my fault for sure.

today at the park i met a pleasant fellow. a 31yrold asian cmu grad student. loves computer programming and economics. grand ambition - to write programs for faster-than-human trading companies, make millions.
i had to ask: what will you do with all that money? buy a fancy car?
no, he said, i think i'll buy lots of gold and then bury it with me in one of those things.
a sarcophagus?
yeah.

what happened to my optimism?