Friday, January 27, 2012

gupshup gossip outta my head

after ade edmonson and rik mayall made "the young ones"
they made another sitcom named "bottom"
which they described as waiting for godot
but vulgar in the extreme
kd has had one sexual partner in the past year
when he was my sexual partner
i kind of wanted to die of embarrassment
and bf i totally know who you lost your virginity to and i didn't even ask
beyonce had a miscarriage
beyonce had a miscarriage and jay-z told everyone about it in a song
that nikki minaj song
that song is abou
t lil kim
and like ade edmonson really doesn't have any hair anymore
and i really thought rik mayall was dead but turns out he's not
he just has crazy hair
like he collected all the wind of a thousand thrusts to thwop ade edmonson over the head with a foam frying pan
and stuffed them in his weird hair
beyonce is the happiest looking pop star of all the pop stars
maybe it's because she didn't go to boarding school like lana del rey
i think i know someone who writes for timeout london
i definitely know someone who writes for timeout london
man buns are really hot right now
chris's friend sam has had a man bun for at least a year
and demographically the students of sarah lawrence
are going to tend to be from new york or la
or like the one weird girl from their suburb
which constitutes a large portion when put together
because there are a lot of suburbs
america is made up of suburbs
which is not an overestimation like saying dominique strauss-kahn is still a socialist
he was a socialist
he's not anymore and his wife is running the huffington post in france
and france is not very close to here
and when he died in france, evariste galois said
"don't cry albert, it takes all my courage to die at twenty"
and he's buried near jim morrison and oscar wilde
but you wouldn't know it
it's a common grave
and the legend of his death is probably pretty outsize
and actually
my paycheck comes from the government not tuition
professors have to cover 60 percent of their costs through funding
the funding goes in a pot to the university (sort of)
my paycheck comes out of that
i know this because the system is the same down south as it is up north
and like
thwack thwack thwack
rik mayall totally has a consistent speech impediment throughout the 90s
there's an app
that let's you designate people to shut down your social networking
if you die
but they all have to be in agreement
that you're dead
and google thinks i'm female and 25-34 years old
which is not wrong
and i am into
Arts & Entertainment - Performing Arts - Acting & Theater Arts & Entertainment - Visual Art & Design People & Society - Family & Relationships People & Society - Social Sciences - Psychology
like he collected all the wind of a thousand thrusts to thwop ade edmonson over the head with a foam frying pan
like she could actually smile with all her teeth
and smiling with your teeth is totally a scare tactic and everyone should be afraid of other people smiling at them
if one lung pops there's a good chance the other other one will, but after that it's unlikely it will happen to either
it just happens
these things totally just happen
and bubblers exist as scientific pieces of equipment which leads me to think that people have been getting high via a technique invented by a bored chemistry grad student

there's more than one of all the types of people you know
ugh
ugh
ugh
the devil is in the details
none of which i strictly need to know

2 comments:

  1. oh do it like a performance piece dude.

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  2. aaaaaah how is it everything you write makes me want to squeal and dance and giggle???

    ReplyDelete