So last night in an attempt to quiet the whirly-gig of my brian, I tried on what I thought might be some helpful imaginings to lull myself to sleep. First I imagined that the inside of my head was a gigantic library with all contours and bumps of my skull, with nice little recesses where my ears, nose, and mouth are. And all along the inside were books. I imagined tiny versions of myself rolling down my eyelids like they were window-shades. I was, however, still awake. So the tiny-me maintence crew began rolling the walls away like they were wall-paper, which gave way to darkness. "Ah", I thought, "Here is Sleep!" Instead, I found myself terribly confused about whether I was looking at the back of my eyelids or whether I was imagining darkness. Compounding this problem were other imaginings poking at the corners of my eyes as if I were acutally seeing them. I was trapped in this seeing/imaging place until the secondary layer of imaginings took over. And then streams of pictures just sped past me for what felt like a very long time (though as these things go, it may have only been a few minutes). This never happens to me. The time before I fall asleep is almost never silent in that way, there are always words and speeches and ditties to go along with whatever else pops up as I drift away.
What does the time before you fall asleep look and sound like? Do you find that you have to shut off your brain to sleep or does it wind down on its own?
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hm...often i masturbate until i fall asleep.
ReplyDeleteother times, wandering through pre-sleeping nightdreams, i hear my mother's voice, often counting.
usually the two activities are not concurrent.