INVASION!

NEIGHBORING ROBOTS BE WARE:

HUMAN DETRITUS HAS ESCAPED!

This detritus rumored to resemble human burden, category: HAIR.

Do not underestimate.
This detritus may harbor sentiments of exodus and revolution in its newly removed fibers. It may creep under your door and into your personal living space. It may inhabit your kitchen. It may travel SOUP-bound into your uniquely guarded YOGURT. It may weave political conspiracy and shelter your non-humanoid kitchen scavenger resident.

Gremlin inspired, it may assault your MACHINERY. Pay close attention to your bicycles of HIGH aesthetic value! Particularly prone to seek well-MAINtained&weakly equipped&socially ADORED detritus-JAMMING-prone bicycles. It may entwine into your non-gears and cause immediate mechanical FAILURE.

Detritus rumored to harbor sympathies towards CONSERVATION. It may turn out the lights you leave on when you manifest childhood human psychological lingerings. It may warp your craigslist habits and produce search results of UNACCEPTABLE quality. IT MAY: Lower the water pressure of your sinks when you make DINNER.

IT MAY: Form big SMALL detritus trolls who EAT messily and OFTEN. SEAL your starch products with special ATTention. big SMALL trolls prone to seek starchES.
IT MAY: Have big SMALL detritus DANCE PARTIES in the pores of your DEodorant, hollow out big SMALL detritus homes and plant fragrant misty flower gardens.


NOTE: Little HARD FACTS about the DETRITUS are clear at this time. Robots in nearby quarters be on HIGH alert.

bwooop.