ask the internet, part 1

hello squiddles! i have good news. the internet has woken up and so now you can ask it your most pressing questions. tmo and i are working on this right now, and we're here to present you with our findings.
all you have to do is ask the internet your question, using your favorite interface (we chose google):

dear internet, how does one get over trauma? thanks, lelz.

and then, like a mystical scrivener, you can read the search results and feel out your answer.
here's the first result:

ADAPT Action Report - Nashville Tennessee
All I did was to just come over there and pick him up and put him on the bed. The way I feel, ... It was November 22nd of 2004 I gout of the nursing home and thank... JT >> Lelz lawsuit with Advocacy Incorporated. And I live free now. ..... We would steal them and they would just get another one. ... God I'm free.
www.adapt.org/freeourpeople/aar/nash06/transcript.htm


As you can see, even the first result by itself is ripe with meaning. From the opening lines, the sexual innuendo and specific reference to our lives is clear. The internet is saying that we must pick him up and put him on the bed if we want to get over our trauma just like the internet did. Who is "him"? well, to answer that we will continue. In the next line, the internet puts itself into our place - november of 04 was indeed the month and year that we escaped the tight confines of social conditioning just a little bit - at least enough to play with freedom.
As we read on we see that the way to come to terms with trauma is by tactfully engaging with society in an ironic and sarcastic way, that is to say, by rejecting all previously held morals.

Thanks, internet!

in this case we didn't even need to interpret any of the further results.

we invite you all to try our method on your own pressing questions - but do realize that the internet is not a toy.