a late draft

hellow, fellow nomads, travelers, stationaries, lovers, dancers, etc.
my current existence is a little miraculous, as az and i got a ride back from the psytrance festival with some kids from brasilia on acid and we thought we would never make it (over huge roadcrevasses, music angst, stories about cows in half english and half portuguese)

but ahem, ahem,
i have been living on the farm miles from nowhere, watching highways of ants and huge termite skyscraperbuildings (the things you can build with dirt and spit!) and finally working here, trying through language and politeness and manners to communicate my enthusiasm to take on tasks too big for me. i fear being an overzealous weeder.
reading about permaculture (this book by david holmgren) and it's a funny meeting of
echoes of my mother (the worms are good, no really) and the force of anarcholove for self-reliance, resistance to organized subversion, metaphors of pods and ants and cells. it's a good book, and better lived.
also, let's see, i've been bonding with gustavo (marcos' three year old son), accepting his male pronouns and in turn flying him around like an airplane, creating songs of syllables, wiping his ass when he turns around and the body language is clear, dancing and dancing to the sounds of crickets and frogs (they compete nightly)...the lizards that live on the kitchen wall, the rat, the few frogs that venture into the house, join in quietly and i watch and wonder at their thoughts. z, you said you could get into the thinking of horses, maybe potentially understand cows....i am listening and learning and working to understand ants and bugs, termites and birds and trees most of all,

this is a vomit of sensations and things, a week spent in near-solitude with az. everyday i take some time to think of people i miss and all that i've learned from them.

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now i'm in brasilia at an internet cafe, this place is wrong wrong wrong (i do like the anarchists but not the air-water-smoke-sounds, where are the trees?). have you heard about clean city laws? that outlaw visual pollution? look it up yo, sao paulo is on top of it apparently.
love to you all, more later.